Stretch Film and Magic Carpet Rides

You might be thinking that there is not much that can be said about stretch film. And now you might be thinking that I would rebut that thought by saying, “You would be wrong.” Except that you would be wrong, because that’s not what I’m going to say. I’m going to say that you would be right. Because it would be right! There really isn’t that much to say about stretch film whatsoever. Unless you are a salesperson of stretch film. Of which I am not. I am just a lowly content writer.

You know something that there is a lot to say about? Magic carpet rides. And that’s a scientific fact. Granted, magic carpet rides may not be scientific in themselves, but it’s a scientific fact that there is a lot to be said about them, whether or not they are real. I’m willing to bet that there are at least two people out there who testify that magic carpet rides are most certainly real, and you probably know who I’m talking about, but I’m still sworn to secrecy and there’s nothing I can do about that but maintain by honor.


I, for one, would immediately trade in my ten-year-old Focus Focus for a magic carpet. How much more amazing would it be. Car(pet) crashes, for one, would cease to be so incredibly terrifying because the damage would be minimal at all times and in all situations. If you wear a helmet you are set even better. You probably wouldn’t even have to go to the hospital because you would just know that your only problem was a little whiplash and rugburn.

I doubt that magic carpet rides are really as romantic as they are depicted in movies and literature, though. I don’t see how it’s possible at all to sit cross legged on a carpet that is whizzing and rolling around, unless it is actually not doing those things. You would be falling over at single movement with nothing to hold onto but each other, which could get real awkward real fast. In real life you would wind up needing to lay on your stomach, probably. Or you could probably lay on your back, but I imagine it would be really easy to get carpet sick like that. And if you’ve seen someone after they get out of a convertible, that’s what it’s going to be like after a magic carpet ride. You are going to need to wear a trench coat, scarf, hat and goggles, and be lying down. So, yeah, not romantic. But probably still more romantic than stretch film.

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